In The Name Of Love - Lost & Found

Dear Miyaki,

This one is for you, my beloved pet and our very first baby. Thank you for letting me hold on you for 5 years. Throughout these 1825 days, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, I miss you so badly that I almost lost myself. It is also you that made me a mother first, but fate took you away once I've become a mother of my first child. You know what, I didn't cry at all on the day you were gone forever, I told myself we're not done yet, I was in delusion.I was truly lost and empty without you.I felt so guilty I wasn't there with you at the end. I swallow my guilt every day and this guilt grows into something that's eating me alive, my life, my health and eventually my self. Mama wants to say goodbye now, but that doesn't mean I will ever forget about you. I'll carry you in my heart, your bouncy prances on the sidewalk, your wild run on the grassy field, your exciting look before mealtime and a lot more... These are all the things that I want to remember about you. I want to remember the happiness you brought into our lives, the wonderful moments we spent together all those years. That's all that I can do for you now. I miss you so much, I'm sure you know that, I truly believes you are being cared for and will be waiting in the heaven to spend an eternity with me and God.

Please forgive me. For the first time I'll be saying this to you, my dear baby Miyaki, may you rest in peace. Mama loves you with all my heart and soul, and you'll always have a special place in my heart.




Hugs & Kisses,
Mama Bev